welcome~ 
sometimes you reach for something sweet, thinking it will be an indulgence; and then there's a surge through your teeth, something in your body preemptively saying, what you are reaching for is not a treat; it is too sweet, too sweet. a moment there where you realize, maybe i don't actually want this at all. not just on an intellectual level, in light of what is healthy or what you think you ought to eat; but at a visceral level. the impulse to eat the sweet before you, is not quite a desire.
and yet, even in this situation, sometimes it is difficult to stop yourself. you've got momentum: you're reaching for it: you're still conceiving of it as a treat. especially when you're tired or not quite feeling like yourself, it is hard to care for yourself. to not force the candy down your own throat. habits help: habits help avoid the reaching-over altogether, and habits can help you stop yourself mid-reach, in face of this evaluation. still. sometimes you find yourself there, on the precipice.
but when you can pull back? when you can pull back, and instead engage with something you actually want? i've gotta say, there's something deep and restorative in the relief that floods you. you feel real, you feel like yourself. you feel whole.
